To the one who wasn’t ready..

I want to start off with saying that I forgive you. Your choice to not be ready gave me the time I needed to figure out exactly what I was ready for. The problem was at the end of the day it was still you.

You knew that and took advantage of it. Thats the part that hurt the most, how you couldn’t be strong enough to just cut me off and let go. You still string me on like one day you will be ready, but I was ready and I don’t want to be anymore.

How do you really forgive and let go though? When you feel so betrayed and hurt. How could someone who made so many promises just decide they didn’t want to mean them anymore?

After many nights of praying, soul-searching, and netflix bingeing I slowly started to find that answer. I needed to realize my own worth. It doesn’t matter how much you love a person, sometimes you have to love yourself more. I then realized that’s exactly what you were doing. You needed to love yourself more than me at this time in your life, even if it meant breaking my heart and loosing me in the mean time.

I am ready to accept that.

It doesn’t mean I will wait for you, because it’s now my turn to put myself first. My acceptance doesn’t mean that anything you did was okay. To be completely blunt with you, this heartbreak was one of the most horrible feelings I have ever experienced. I am now forgiving you for my own sake and sanity.

It came with its positives though too, so I guess I can take some time to thank you. You hit me with the harsh reality that sometimes the person you thought would be there forever, doesn’t want to be there anymore. I now hug people a little tighter and a little longer. Thank you for showing me how fragile love truly is and the catastrophic events that can come from not loving properly. I will continue in my life loving with more care and compassion and truth and I will always protect my heart, thanks to you. Love is so rare and my love was pure. You’ve given me the opportunity to share that love with people who truly appreciate it.

You even helped me restore my faith. It’s funny how a breakup can truly break you, you gave me a reason to pray again. THANK YOU. Through praying I was able to understand that I needed you to break my heart. I found me loosing you. Oh the beautiful beautiful irony.

We come across many people in our lives. We have to have faith that every person is put there for a reason, every soul we meet teaches us a new lesson. Every lesson we carry on with us becoming a small part of who we are. Thank you for my lesson.

As I continue on my journey I want you to know that I hold no hate in my heart for you. I wish you nothing but happiness and I hope whatever you set out to find is there, because me personally…




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